Monday 30 November 2009

It's all over...

,,,and I'm knackered! I just clicked submit on my 50122 word NaNo. I am now unsure what to do with myself, I guess I'll have to talk to my husband again :)

Things with my friend seem to have relaxed, we're going down again this weekend and she's being positive. To be fair she's fucking resilient so I'm sure things will be fine. If not then maybe falling out was the best thing for us.

Work is going really well, I still love it and while there are a few people who are nippy, that's part of life, so we'll be fine. I've got my Christmas present from myself, lovely sparkly things which I shall post later :D

For now, I'm off to lie in a darkened room for a while and relax!

Monday 23 November 2009

Fed up of being fed up.

Well, as predicted, my feelings of isolation and irritation came to head. Probably not in the healthiest manner, but they came to a head. As I can't actually talk about this to anyone (physically I can't, I have tried, the words don't work) I'm going to attempt to get some of it out here.

One of my friends, who I love dearly, complains an inordinate amount for someone who has got into her first choice uni twice, is engaged to be married and whose fiance can afford to support her while she studies again. She is currently doing a course which I was forced to leave as I was failing. When she was out of uni she was never unemployed for more than a month. She hates the cold and wet weather but she decided to stay here rather than moving back to her Meditteranean homeland after uni. I can normally let all this drop and just bob along happily. However, when she started complaining about her course, brushing over how upset I was about moving and still finding things to complain about it started to grate on me. This woman cannot not complain. If she's hungry then we all have to suffer, even if we're all starving as well. This one is particularly relevant as my husband eats like a horse and people often ignore the fact he's hungry and tell him he can wait.

Yesterday, while discussing plans for a mutual friend's birthday in two weeks time she announced that she had had "The WORST dining experience" at a place we all love. I said "Yeah, but you've had a bad experience everywhere." She then got upset, apparently I say this all the time, everytime she bitches about something (bands she's seen are rarely good in her opinion even if other people liked them) and asked me to list the places she had complained about. I left and locked myself in a bathroom. Unfortunately we were at the cinema at the time and the film was going to be starting to I had to go back, I put my hood up and sat there crying in silence for a while before I started recovring, knowing full well what was coming a tthe end of the movie.

As the credits rolled my husband asked me if I was ok (after asking me to put my hood down and be less aggressive and taking the other girls side earlier on). I said I wasn't looking forward to what was coming. Right enough, just as he was telling me to get over it and apologise and I was shouting at him that I didn't want to apologise, my friend appeared in front of me. She told me that I constantly criticise her and that she knows she's a pain the ass but she feels she can't say anything to me as I'll tell her she's wrong. I tried to get my side out but she kept speaking. When she finished her bit she walked off, leaving me sitting in the dark. My husband walked after her and after a few minutes she came back. By this point I was hysterical, there was nothing I could say. She sat down and asked me if I hate her which made everything worse.

In the end, instead of my cool, calm "You complain an inordinate amount and it makes me feel like shit as you live a charmed life." I blubbered my way round saying that I miss everyone (this is hard for her too apparently) that I haven't coped at all with the move (but you're doing so well, you never told me you're not coping, well, actually I did and that very same night you told me I was doing great) that I didn't hate her but that I couldn't listen to her bitch about the course I so wanted to succeed with and that I was sorry for snapping, but I couldn't help how I felt.

I still think I was easy on her. I told my husband what had been said and he agrees that I was right to apologise, but seems unsure how else to act. He agrees with me about her complaining, lots of people do, but noone ever says anything, so because it was me that snapped first I am now the bad guy. Fabby do. And I don't buy the "It's just as hard for her to have to miss you as it for you to miss her." balls for a minute, I have left EVERYTHING and EVERYONE behind and every Sunday morning I look on facebook and find their photos and chat from the night before and I feel incredibly lost. How is that as hard for her as it for me?

So now I have two weeks until I'm back again, for another birthday. I promised to see her, and I will, but I can't help but wonder how things will change, as they undoubtedly will. The last time something like this happened it eventually got easier between her and the other girl, but they to this day see each other every week. What am I supposed to do? She wants me to talk to her more, tell her how I'm feeling, talk to her if I'm not coping, but I don't know what else I can do. She's extremely blase about stuff like my having suffered with depression, in fact she thought it was extremely weird when I was happy yo be on happy pills, when for me it was a moment of salvation and of seeing a break in the clouds. The truth is, I talk to the few people who has seen that I'm struggling, because they have made the link, they have seen, and they have admitted how they feel. There is a lot for me to say if I'm going to fill her in.

Friday 20 November 2009

Good times :)

I love my job. I really, really love it . I have had a great few days, been given more hours due to a sale and I'm really, really enjoying it. I've been given training in areas that are usually left for more experiences staff and I've been told that I'm picking things up really quickly. I am a very happy bunny. Then on the way home from work last night two people stopped me in the street and complimented me on my umbrella! :D To be fair, my umbrella is very cool...

I've got my NaNo to 14120. That's about half what I should have at this stage, but it's progressing wonderfully due to my use of Dr Wicked's writeordie. After a while it starts deleting your words if you don't write! Keeps you motivated...

Tonight we're going to see New Moon! I am getting more and more excited about this as the day goes on. I'm also going to see it again tomorrow with my friend the bunny (shhh, don't tell my husband!) Mind you, I saw Twilight about eight times at the cinema (God bless my unlimited cinema card) so maybe it'a a good thing I've moved now, at least for the sake of my husband's sanity, that I can't watch New Moon as many times :) It's also my pal's birthday today so should be a night of drinking, laughing and good company.

I have seen the Coke ad. Twice! I actually text my friend saying "COKE AD!" that is how excited I was :) that means it's officially Christmastime. Very excited. I actually felt a bit like the kid in the ad, running down, desperate to see the parade :)

Now I'm off to paint my nails (bright red in honour of the vampires), finsh clenaing my oven (my one menial task of the day), have a long hot bath and decide what to wear as when my husband gets out of work we're straight in the car and on the road to be at the cinema 250 miles away by 6.30 (it's a long shot, but we're going for it). So, enjoy your weekend and remember "It’s not like you’ll never see me again. I promise I’ll be back again soon—so much you’ll get sick of me."

Tuesday 17 November 2009

Tonight I will mostly be...

...drinking with my baby cousin :) When I say baby I mean eighteen year old, I am not corrupting the young! She has decided to come over for a few days to escape the parentals and get some (in her words) shippy shopping done. I am working a few hours tomorrow but she said she can keep herself occupied in town while I'm at work so that's fine. We're also planning a trip to the cinema and will undoubtedly sit and drink stupid amounts of pink wine tonight, family tradition and all that :) Luckily I'm not working til 12 tomorrow :)

This is undoubtedly masking my loneliness and sadness from the beginning of the week and I will therefore have to deal with it later in the month but as I'm currently making my life as full as I can with nights out, weekends away and plans for Christmas (still not seen the Coke ad!) I plan to just keep myself so busy that I don't notice it. We'll see how that pans out...

Yesterday at work brought new discoveries, my manager is a massive Harry Potter fan and our senior staff member and her daughter are Twilight fans. I also spent most of the day cleaning jewellery and arranging displays. Heaven! I love my job! :) I'm back in tomorrow which is delivery day which is also great fun, going through the new pieces, labelling and putting them out. Excellent. My misadventures at the weekend have also made it into the joke stage so all is good :) Being able to laugh at yourself is definitely a good thing in this line of work :)

Right, I am off to get my jeans out of the dryer and go pick up my cousin! Very excited. Oh yes I am :)

Sunday 15 November 2009

End of week one.

So, the new job is still fantastic, and I'm doing well, I got plenty of compliments yesterday about how quickly I had picked up the till and I even sold my first diamond ring! But of course it wouldn't be me without things going wrong. Nothing too severe, just a stupid mistake, but noone got hurt, nothing got broken and noone lost any money. Awesome :) Not bad for my first Saturday! I'm back in tomorrow and working with the manager so hopefully things continue to go well :)

In other news, I've got my NaNoWriMo to over 10000 words, I'm ridiculously far behind but still holding hope. We're going visiting this weekend and I have a two and half hour drive so laptop will be charged!

The visit this coming weekend has highlighted what I was already feeling. I'm really missing my friends. This was our first weekend with noone visiting, and to begin with I was really looking forward to some time with just my husband, and we had a great night last night, pizza, wine and a movie, but I got up today and read all the texts and FB messages and statuses from my friends talking about their night last night and I felt really alone for the first time since moving. I've been close to tears most of the day and am already trying to shake myself out of it in preparation for tomorrow, I've only ever taken my homelife to work once and it resulted in me crying my eyes out on a checkout with my head on a manager's shoulder. Lucky for me it was a manager I knew outside of work and who was extremely understanding. This time I fear I will just have to battle through.

I'm getting stupidly excited about the release of New Moon this weekend. I am in my twenties and don't even have a crush on a character to blame, I am just genuinely excited about seeing the movie. I loved these books when I read them (after being prodded by my friend the bunny) and don't give a flying toss if they were written for teens, children or babies. I liked them, the same way I liked Harry Potter and as such the film adaptations are creating massive amounts of joy and laughter in my life. I have actually dreamed that I have already seen the movie twice this week. Oh yes, I am that much of a geek. Though I'm not sure which is more geekish, dreaming New Moon: The Movie, or getting so excited when I found out the Hogwarts Express passes my aunt's house every day that I had to text my cousin and tell him (he already knew and told me I was sad).

I think our house is finally unpacked! Hubby was left in charge of the last spare room (we only have two, but the other was done by the end of day one and so much stuff has been moved back and forth it feels like we have six) and filing all his stuff before I burned it all. I've just heard him go into the attic, presumably to put the empty boxes up there so we can all breath a sigh of relief and should anyone come to stay who needs wardrobe space, or even space to walk around the room, it will be available to them :)

There have been some unfortunate events this week. A cousin of mine has taken her attention seeking to a whole new level and has posted something on facebook that really should have been kept private. She is now passing out gory details on what is, essentially, a public medium about something that happened over twenty years ago. Not healthy. I am staying far away from this one as I've been dragged in before and it does noone any good.

I keep missing the Christmas Coke ad! I am classing this as an unfortunate event as I'm desperate to get excited about Christmas and can't until this ad has been on (my own rule) yet just about everyone I know saw it last night. Not fair in the slightest! I instead keep getting the Taylor Swift/Band Hero ad, and not even Pete Wentz in his underwear makes it worth getting that song stuck in my head. It did lead to an interesting conversation with my husband though, who asked me when they changed the music in that scene. He seemed unable to comprehend that it was a scene from Risky Business and that it had been used by just about every advertising company and Sit-Com maker at some point, usually with the original piano music that we all know and love, but for this particular advert it just wasn't going to work.

Right, I apparently have to go do some shopping (by myself, bad plan, I almost always come back with books and DVDs, his mistake!) so I'd better get off. Until next time, in the immortal words of Bill S. Preston Esquire and Ted "Theodore" Logan,

Be excellent to each other, and party on!

Tuesday 10 November 2009

And we have lift off!

Our internet has finally been connected at home so I am writing this from the comfort of my living room :)

I've started work now. The place is all my dreams come true, I clearly had the right idea when I was 16 and wanted to work in a jewellers as I absolutely loved my induction yesterday. The systems are a bit difference to what I've used before but it should be fine once I get used to it. The staff all seem fab as well so fingers crossed it all works out.

The weather has taken a turn for cold, there has been frost and fog most mornings recently and the grass has been most decidedly crunchy underfoot.

We've had yet more friends up to visit this weekend four of them descended upon us and we had a complete ball taking in the city, having a few drinks and lighting sparklers in the back garden. I cooked myself into an oblivion and am going to live off fresh pasta from now on :)

To be honest I'm struggling a bit at the moment taking in how much life has changed in the last five weeks. Five weeks ago I was spending my days sitting at home, sending out CVs and being bored. Now I have a job, we're living in another city and while we haven't yet sold our house we've had more viewers than we've had in months over the last two weeks. We're both visibly happier and I'm laughing so much it hurts.

I miss my friends, of course I do, but to be honest I'm barely noticing their absence yet. It's not unsual to go only a week without seeing some of them, and as people have been here every weekend since we moved it's not really hitting home that they're not just down the road anymore. We're going down in two weeks though, for a rugby match and a birthday (which coincides happily with the release of New Moon!) and then again a few weeks later for more birthdays and a visitor from south so we'll all be fine (provided I stop getting off the bus at the wrong place and getting lost!)

My NaNoWriMo project isn't doing very well. I'm massively behind but I reckon I can do it :)

So now i'm off to make myself some dinner (my husband has parent's evening tonight) before settling in with a blanket and a good book for the evening.

Tuesday 3 November 2009

Who says we always talk about the weather?

Well it's rotten out there. Most of the country is getting severe weather warnings and half the A roads out there are under a foot of water. Brrr...

I'm once again in a pub using their wifi. I've got hundreds of photos uploading to facebook, finally! I'm also trying to keep up with everything that has come for me in the last week as we still don't have internet at home, we do, however, have a phoneline, which is a start. We should have the net by next Monday, I can last another week!

The good news is, I got myself a job! It's temporary and part time to begin with but they said I could be working full time by Christmas if things work out and there's a chance the job will become permanent in January *dances* Either way it's a step in the right direction!

I've also entered the NaNoWriMo. National Novel Wiriting Month. The aim is to write a 50000 word novel in 30 days. I've only got 1700 so far but there's plenty of time and given that I wrote 15000 over two days on my last novel as the end came upon me I'm confident. It's an idea I've had for a while but wasn't sure would be long enough. As 50000 is technically a novella by most publishers standards this is perfect :)

So, my evil plan for Hallowe'en. We got dressed up and two friends, my husband and I drove the 90 minutes to my aunts house on the West Coast. She lives in a little cottage in the middle of a forest and jokingly said a few months ago that she hoped she didn't get any Trick or Treaters this year after over 20 years spent living in the city. We managed to get all the way to the door (up a very long steep driveway) in the car without them noticing and rang the doorbell. And waited. And waited. Eventually my uncle came to the door, all ready to tell us he had no sweeties for us! Turns out they had been debating opening the door as they didn't want to disappoint any kids, but felt that if someone had come all the way up then they should open the door! So we had a few glasses of wine with my aunt and baby cousin (who's 18) before heading back to our house. All in all, a lovely night :)

One funny story from Saturday nigtht though, my friend and I were the only two dressed up apart from two barmaids at the place we stopped for dinner. We were feeling most conspicuous. As we were driving out to my aunt's house we were driving through some horrific puddles and my husband jokingly said "I hope there weren't any pedestrians there, I didn't see any behind the wall of water, ha ha ha..." Ten minutes later, going through the next village he went through a similar puddle, and noticed two girls dressed as fairies at just the wrong moment. There was nothing he could do and the girls got soaked. Luckily they were late teenagers rather than small kids or I think the guilt might have killed us! They took it in good spirits though and were laughing when we drove away :)

So, that's our news. Other than selling our old house we're settled! I need to change our address on a few things but that's easily done. I start work on Monday morning. Everything is falling into place :)