Coming soon, to an internet cafe near you!

28.10.09
As I write this I am sitting in my new living room. We don’t have the internet yet, due to the phone company being completely useless, after several phonecalls it emerges they HAVE moved us, but they moved us from our old address to our old address. Despite sending us post to the new address confirming the move to the old address. Imbeciles! We should have a new line Monday which means we can organise the net then but for now I’m going to have to take my laptop into town and find somewhere with wifi. We went to a really nice bar that does good coffee when we were looking over house details so I think I’ll give them a try :)

I’ve been collecting job application forms as well. I’ve got two to take in tomorrow as well as a few to do online, we shall keep fingers crossed that one of them gets me something!

Our leaving party was a great success. We had only one minor casualty in a friend who had a few too many red wines, poured one down himself, one on my cream carpet (I have lived in that house for over four years and never managed to spill red wine!) and then got up and wandered out of the house. Luckily the designated driver caught him and took him home, so all was well in the end. We have had to have one of our friends shampoo the carpet for us this week before anyone came to view the house though... The day after the girls went to a friend’s flat to watch The Labyrinth and say good bye which was lovely.

Not had many tears yet, I had a few while playing the new CDs my friends gave me when I left. Instead of the track listing on the CD case they wrote hints for the songs. For example Rob Zombie’s Dragula became “Sex-confused Vampire”, leaving my husband and I guessing most of the way to the new house. I’m missing the m all tonight though, tonight is quiz night in the local and I’m not there. I’ve already had a text from one of the girls saying “You’re late for the quiz, you coming?” which I’m sure she thinks is hilarious but now I just want to lock myself in a room and cry. But I refuse, instead I’m going to take my book in a hot bath.

Not making much progress with my shawl, I’ve had to keep stopping and starting but as the bees have been so popular I’ve made some for a few friends’ children so my needles aren’t still. I’ve also finished my bumblebee scarf which even my husband likes! It’s a good thing really as my Hallowe’en costume is a bumblebee and the scarf is part of it so getting it finished was important!

Speaking of Hallowe’en, I have an evil plan afoot, which I shall reveal if it works out. I was originally meant to be going back to do Hallowe’en with all my friends but due to family changing their plans I couldn’t go. So now I’m getting revenge 

We’re almost unpacked! My husband has spent this evening emptying the spare room of things he doesn’t need in his “study area” so now we can get on with making the beds up and storing everything that needs storing rather than leaving it lying around in boxes. Woop woop! I managed to convince my husband that two eight foot bookcases in the living room was a must and they’re doing me proud so far considering my mum, aunt and I put them together using only a screwdriver and an allan key. There are some more books in one of the spare rooms that I’ll bring down next time I’m at that end of the house but other than that and a few boxes to go in the attic I think we’re set!

So, now I’m going to go for my bath and ignore my text message and continue to let everything wash over me in preparation for job hunting tomorrow. I’d open a bottle of wine but as I’ve been putting the wine away every day since we moved in I think I should give it a rest! Maybe some ice cream instead...

Busy bees and buzzy bees.

Today we packed our house. Everything we own, bar our bed and sheets, kettle and mugs, is now in a removal lorry. They're coming to pick up the bed at 7.30am and then we're driving to the new house. It took about four hours to get everything loaded up so hopefully unloading will be as quick, if not quicker! I'll be occupied with moving in tomorrow at least, I spent today wandering around feeling redundant, an old back problem is aggravating me at the moment so all I could do was sort the laundry and make cups of tea. I've just packed the rest of the glasses and cutlery and I'm going to write this and go to my bed as I've got six hours until I have to be up again.

I'm also knitting bumblebees! The friends that came round to help the other day were very taken by my bees so they're all getting knitted bees before I go away. Which is tomorrow. I've done one so far, I'd even stuff him but unfortunately my needles are all in the moving lorry *rolls eyes* Luckily I know exactly where they are so I can get them out as soon as the crate comes out of the lorry and I can do the sewing on the way back down tomorrow night for the party.

Tonight we were meant to have dinner with some friends but one of them has been diagnosed with the dreaded swine flu. She's absolutely fine, just a bit miserable and wheezy. It led to a few tears when they called to tell us they weren't coming round, I'm getting a bit sad about it all but keeping going. I'm continuing with my plan to make everyone else feel better about the move and refuse to get upset about it until I'm sorted in the new house.

I've burnt myself. Again. I now have three lines on my right hand, from oven shelves and the toastie maker. They're all parallel or perpendicular to each other and are very pretty. I'm not safe to be let out alone! I am extremely clumsy, to the point of idiocy and this seems to be my latest habit. I seem to go through phases, sometimes it'll be bashing into door handles, sometimes dropping things, at the moment it's burning, which hurts more than the time I got glass stuck in my the sole of my foot (which I of course managed twice in the same day, from the same glass, despite having swept and hoovered the floor).

So, tonight is a sad one for me. I'm sitting on my living room floor with my laptop and a glass of water thinking that this time tomorow I imagine our friends will have left and we'll be sleeping in our house for the last time. This wasn't the first place we lived in together but it was the first we bought and we were the first people to ever live in it, now someone else is going to live in it, it'll be their house to make their own. I can't invite my friends round for dinner on the spur of the moment and let them stay if they have a drink, and I can't just nip into town and run the chance of meeting someone I know at the local pub.

So, for now, I shall take my water to bed (and set it on the floor, as my bedside table has gone) and get some sleep so that tomorrow night when I'm saying goodbye I don't fall asleep or collapse into a gibbering drunken wreck. Then I shall look to the future, to the lovely new house we're moving into, even if it is only temporary, to the new job my husband is starting and to the new job opportunities available to me. And who knows, maybe one day I'll make some new friends. And if not, if the worst came to the worst, I have my old ones, the ones who have seen me this far, and they all have spare rooms.

Space llamas that go moo.

While packing my kitchen this morning I discovered an old friend. The space llama that goes moo. He is, of course, a small plastic cow from the ELC. He was bought for me when I was in first year at university by someone who is now one of my best friends, following a drunken conversation in the union (when we should have been in a lecture). He is actually the second as the first went missing during a flat party over five years ago, but we love him all the same. He has lived on top of a cabinet in my kitchen for over four and a half years and is now residing happily in my jeans pocket after a day out (cue me uttering the sentence "Did I put the llama in my pocket?" after dinner)

This afternoon/evening was spent with my friend the bunny (a nickname, not more animals) having lunch, watching two films at the cinema, having dinner and watching another film. Upon telling my husband that we'd seen three films we were greeted with a strange look, but as we both pay for an unlimited card each month and there's no cinema at which it works in the place I'm moving to we're aiming to get as much use as possible out of them before I leave :) We spent the afternoon scaring the living daylights out of strangers, laughing uproariously and talking absolute rubbish. We had a few moments where we had some deep and meaningful chat but it was mainly mindless babble, which is always fun.

I've started knitting my shawl. It's a bit of a variation on the pattern and is more of a stole than a shawl but it's giving me lots of ideas. I've already frogged it once after mixing up a line of garter stitch but it's starting to look like it's meant to, lace knitting is easier than I was expecting :)

All we've got left to pack now are the rest of the plates and pans, some cutlery, my Le Creuset (not fun to pack, very heavy and breakable and I'm clumsy at the best of times, the fact I've packed my wine glasses without breaking any is still amazing me) the TV and games consoles. A few friends are coming round tomorrow night on the promise of beer and dinner to help us order all the boxes for the removal company coming on Thursday. We've got a lot of stuff in the attic and the removal company told us this morning that we need to put all my books into smaller boxes *rolls eyes* Then Thursday they're packing up and we're having dinner and drinks with the last of the people we need to say Goodbye to. Friday we're driving up the road, picking up the keys, signing the lease, unpacking the van, driving back down the road, having a leaving party and celebrating my husband's birthday. Saturday I'm kicking out the lads that are sleeping over, shampooing my carpets then heading over to a mate's flat for a girl's afternoon in watching DVDs and drinking cocktails before we head back up the road on Saturday night. Sunday my mum is coming to stay while my husband goes on a two day trip with his new employer (the whole dept is going so they invited him along) so hopefully she can help me get my kitchen sorted out!

For now though, I'm wide awake *rolls eyes* I have suffered from insomnia for years as a result of a combination of depression, PTSD and my husband's snoring. But I have coping methods, one of which is knitting in front of late night TV, when I see some of the best comedy out there :) I'm currently in a pretty good state of mind (despite being fed up and frustrated over the move) so I'm not too worried and as long as I'm still getting up during the day I know it's not a problem (though I do know someone who is almost completely nocturnal and she seems to get on just fine!) So, I shall get back to my shawl. I forgot to ball the wool so I'm being driven demented by trying to knit with it in the ball I bought it in so I want to get through the first ball quickly!

When passive aggressive facebook statuses just wont cut it.

I've spent a lot of the last few days biting my tongue. There are some things that need to be kept in, my views on parenting and marriage for example. Those aside, I was told by a very close friend that my sarcasm upset her the other day, so much that she was reduced to tears. This threw me for six as she's known me for (ironically) six years, and I've always been extremely dry. My father often describes my jokes as going down like lead balloons. I think that's an understatement. But most of my friends get on with it and we all shuffle along happily. This one is known for being a bit oversensitive, but as she's the same one as I referred to in my previous post I'm done with oversensitive. She's also being not especially sensitive herself recently but that's all by the by. I was genuininely upset by what was said, so I stopped talking, we were eating and then walking anyway. But then I got asked what was wrong. So I clearly can't win.

A few hours later, after coming home and leaving her and two others in the pub, another friend was here. We were all going to a gig together and were meeting at our house as it's closest to the main roads. They were late. And as we get earache everytime we're more than five minutes late for anything (I wont even go into the drama that occurred around a recent film about a certain wizard and his misadventures) I was getting pissed off. Things got on top of me and I broke down in tears when he asked if I was ok, and let everything spill out. Turns out this friend was a bit more in tune with me and had known I was struggling. Which given how many people have told me how well I'm managing the move and the upheaval was something of a relief. It was nice to not have to comfort someone as they were prepared to comfort me.

Don't get me wrong. He's not the first to see through me, two of my friends know exactly how I'm getting on and are being as supportive as they physically can be. It's just nice to know that someone else sees the real me. Later last night I told the original friend that I'm not coping. She once again brushed over the move and said "It'll all be fine." Well of course it will. It has to be. But that doesn't mean I'm not allowed to panic and stress like all normal people. I'm fed up of being strong for everyone else. I'm also fed up of packing, wrapping, washing, writing and having to say goodbye. Friday night was our last night with the Scouts and while they were getting hyper on cake and fizzy pop I was trying not to cry over the gifts and cards the parents and leaders had organised. We don't do Scouts for gain, we do it to give back to the kids, we do it because we want to, so to be appreciated and to know that we (well, my husband) have made a difference makes everything worth it. And it's easier to be strong for kids, so I didn't mind holding it all in as much, until a leader and a parent came to say goodbye and both had tears in their eyes. We made them go away with more cake and fizzy pop (the tears, not the grownups).

Of course the week has not been without it's good points. The whole reason Friday was upsetting is because they are a great group of kids who we have got to know and who we were made to promise we'd visit. I think there are already plans in the pipeline to find a troop to join in the new place and try to organise joint camps. Scouting is all about friendship and forming links with other groups so this sounds like a perfect excuse to me.

The friends who were visiting with their ten month old son were great to be around. There is something to be said for motherhood mellowing people out. I never really beleived it before! The little boy is just gorgeous and very smiley and nothing quite brightens a day like a smile from a small child. He's also not quite crawling yet either which left me with a little more peace of mind about the boxes and packing materials all over the house. Hopefully next time they visit we'll be in a sensible state of order! I also managed to get a lot of my Christmas shopping done while she was buying most of Mothercare so that's one less thing to worry about :)

I finished my jumper! It's huge and squashy and has a hood big enough to cover my whole head :) I'll take some pictures when I can work out the timer function on my new camera. I decided to finish it off with two glass butterflies on a string to tighten the neck and so far every person who has seen me in it has asked me where I bought it from *proud of herself smiley*

The gig last night was fantastic. The band are always good live and last night was no exception. They're changing direction a bit musically apparently, but it's a good direction so no complaints :) Have to say, I think the best song title ever has just been discovered "A Really Cool Dance Song" 'cos dance songs are cool now *nods* And they played one of my favourite songs, despite it being a slow one, so they get massive credit for that.

Of course I think that the most fun I had all week was buying books and DVDs while my husband meandered around the supermarket. I mean he should really know better than to leave me to my own devices... I came out with five DVDs and two books. Ooops... In my defence one of the books is a Christmas present, and I think one of the DVDs will be too... Maybe...

The Butterfly Effect.

Since announcing the move I have mainly worried about the effect the move and my news is going to have on other people. I have stressed about how my friends would react and I've worried about how they're going to cope. One of my friends even said "Well, we'll be sad to see you go, but we'll all keep in touch, I have Steven's number and they come to the pub every week now anyway, it's not that far away."

Now while I appreciate that people I have introduced will continue to be friends in my absence, the fact that someone was focussing on how their friendships would survive in the same sentence as saying Goodbye to our friendship sucks a bit. Tonight was our last night in the pub. And it was great to see so many of my friends out. The kareoke host made a point of telling people it was my last night and I got to say Goodbye to the bar staff, regulars and some of my friends. But some of my friends left early and are essentially ignoring the move.

I have no problem with people doing whatever they want. And this wasn't our official leaving night, that's next week. But when I burst into tears just after midnight I realised that the remaining four people were the ones who have given me the most support (with one notable exception who couldn't be there tonight). Me. The person who is moving away from all her friends, her house, her life. Because while I appreciate that some of my friends are upset, some aren't and some are focussing on other things (work/uni/recent cinema releases) I am struggling with the fact that I am worrying so much about keeping my friends happy that the fact I am going to be living three hours away from everything I know is slipping by and it's assumed that I want to move. I don't. I never did. But I don't have a job, and I do have a husband. Who I promised to love and to be with for better, for worse and 'til death. Ok, there wasn't a clause in our vows about accepting jobs in faraway lands, but that doesn't mean I get to bail, or that I even want to. I just wish there had been some way to combine my husband being offered a great job with being able to stay near my friends.

So now I'm left to wonder, what happens next? I have absolutely no doubt that some of my friends and I will stay as close as we ever were. We will still speak every day, still fall out over stupid details and still meet on Wednesdays for trips to the cinema when we're all free during the day. We will form stupid groups on facebook, send song lyrics in text messages and share knitting patterns, baking recipes, good wine, the newest ice cream flavour we've discovered and book recommendations. But what of the others? Those who will throw a strop over a throwaway comment that the others would laugh at. Those who cannot accept tardiness or late plans, how will those be affected by someone living three hours away? What about the ones who only stay in touch because we see each other once a week. What of those who stay in friendships only for the self-affirming nature of them, what happens to them when someone cannot converse on a daily basis, waxing lyrical of the benfits and beauty of said friendship?

I do not know any of these answers. But I know that those who do stay in touch will be the ones worth staying in touch with. So I look forward to learning...

We've set a date!

Second time I've said that in my life time! This time is not quite as exciting, nor was it much fun. But it's done now. We are, of course, moving on the least convenient day, but shit happens. We're going a week on Friday, racing the removal company up the road so we can collect the keys and get to the house before they arrive as they charge extortionate fees if we're late *rolls eyes* We are then spending the day unpacking before driving back down the road for our leaving party. We had anticipated moving a few days earlier and having plenty of time. Apparently Fate was in a strange mood today though... We've also already had two offers of people coming to help us settle in and move, so that's taking the edge off the whole thing really. It does mean that tomorow isn't technically our last night in the pub, but we can work around that.

Tonight, meanwhile, we're going to a friend's flat for dinner. I've just written him out my crack brownie recipe as he's been asking for it, and since it's from the Green & Black's cookbook I felt a bit mean not giving him it. I can't help but wonder if he'll ever figure out where I got it from, he has seen the book before now, if not the name, and if he does work it out, how much he's going to punish me... I'm taking Chocolate Krisp Kringles to soften him up :)

As for the jumper, I've finished the sleeves and am now working on a hood. I've decided to essentially make a giant, rounded pillow case and then sew it in creatively :) When that's done I can get started on my shawl which I am just dying to do, I considered the Clapotis pattern that's doing the rounds but I hate with a passion patterns that include dropped stitches as then when I drop one by accident (which I invariably do at least once per item) I have no idea! Maybe next year.

We've got loads more packing done today, our biggest problem at the moment is making sure everything we pack is stored somewhere safe. The friends who are visiting this weekend are bringing their ten month old son and him getting trapped under piles of boxes might put a slight dampner on the weekend...

So, for now, I'm going to decant my Krisp Kringles into a tub to take out and get a few lines of knitting done (100 stitches is a lot!) before we go out. Then I'm going to spend this week making the most of my friends.

My loose end.

So I used this weekend to (quite literally) tie up some loose ends. I worked like a little knitting demon on my jumper and now have a front and back, one complete sleeve and a third of a second sleeve. I'm in a very boring set of blocks of eight atm but once this is over I've got to design a pattern for a hood (agh!) So far, it's looking just exactly how I wanted it, massive, squashy and chunky so hopefully warm enough to see me through winter in a new (more Nothern) city.

We also went to see some friends we haven't seen for a few months, it was one's 30th birthday so after a lovely dinner with some other friends we all went out for cocktails (whiskies in the boys' case) and then danced the night away in a club, on the door of which was my ex-flatmate's ex-boyfriend! Love the random coincidences, we always got on better with him than her anyway so it was nice to catch up :) My husband woke this morning with a head like an angry bear while I slept it all off and then laughed at him. After that we went to see yet another friend, who was auditioning for Just Dance, before dinner and seeing UP with her and her fiance and my father in law. I recommend it. In fact I'm going to see it again this week. We saw it in 3D (my husband is very pleased with the new technology as he can watch 3D now even with his astigmatism) and it was absolutely fantastic. I usually prefer Dreamworks to Disney Pixar when it comes to digital animations but they've excelled themselves with this one.

One more random incidence, and one which has me a little confused. A friend of ours is married. This is not that strange I grant you, what is strange is that his wife has very rarely spoken to me in the years I've known them, including when I saw her after the birth of her son. I accepted it and moved on. I have enough friends. She has some very strange views on life. This I also accept and leave her to it. As she doesn't talk to me it's not an issue, and to be fair, a lot of people I know have strange views on life. Well, a few months ago, on my birthday, she text me to say happy birthday. Very nice of her. She asked me a few questions, asked me what I was up to and then I didn't hear from her again. Two months ago my husband was visiting his parents, who live near them. She asked where I was and said that she would have liked to have seen me as it's been nearly a year now since last we spoke. I thought this was most bizarre but as I didn't hear from her again thought nothing of it. Her and her husband and their son are coming to stay with us this weekend. We weren't sure when they were getting here but as neither of us are working in preparation for the move it wasn't really a problem. Well yesterday she text me. She told me when they're getting here and asked if I want to go shopping with her. I said that sounded good to me, I never get to go on girly shopping trips anymore and her son is a great excuse to go in children's shops and toy stores. Magic. What is strange is that I have offered to take her shopping before now and she's always said no. I tried to help her prepare for her wedding and she ignored everything I said, told me I was wrong about various things and proceeded to dismiss every piece of advice I gave her (oddly, the similarities between my wedding and hers were noticed by a few people, but I shall not bitch). So I am intrigued to see how this week turns out!

As for the move, tomorrow night one of my oldest friends is coming over for dinner and she's going to help me pack photographs, paintings and framed pictures. She doesn't know this yet, but she has offered to help several times, it was only a matter of when I took her up on it :) We're also having our last week in the local pub quiz this Wednesday. This is a ritual for anyone leaving the city so it promises to be a little bit sad that our time has rolled around. Obviously there will be times when we're back but this is our last as residents (my husband has even said he might sing in the kareoke afterwards!). We should also be getting a move-in date on Tuesday so we can organise the removal company and everything that needs transferring over.

So for now I'm going back to my jumper in the hope that I can get my second sleeve finished and start fresh on the hood tomorrow. Once the jumper is finished I am planning to knit a shawl based on this pattern. Can we tell I think I'm going to be cold this winter? :)

Suddenly at a loose end.

This weekend we were meant to be taking our Scouts away for three days. As the week has gone on, however, the local schools have been hit by bugs and disease and we're now down to four Scouts. So we have decided to call off the trip and just have a normal meeting tonight then everyone gets the weekend back. This is all well and good, and everyone is being very understanding, but now I don't know what to do with myself! We'd been counting on being away so have planned meticulously around it right down to my father in law needing spare keys to come down tomorrow night as he's down for a course. Of course now I can go to the cinema/pub/friends' houses or merely lie in and sleep in a warm bed. All are positives. But it also means we're going to miss the last camp with our Troop, which is terribly sad really. But, onwards and upwards.

We've also just had a phonecall from the letting agents (one day I'll tell the story of how we managed to get a house up there at all) to say that my husband's employer have not yet confirmed that they are, in fact, employing him from this month and as they go on holiday for two weeks starting at 5pm today this is somewhat inconvenient as without their confirmation we can't sign our lease, which means we can't move. The fact that this means he wont be there in time to start work appears to have gone over the employer's head. Magic.

On the topic of magic, Hallowe'en is rolling around again. This means that the ignorant and close minded are back on their soap boxes about celebrating Satanic holidays. While I'm not officially Wiccan/Pagan I follow the Wiccan Rede "An Ye Harm None, Do What Ye Will" (Karma's gonna getcha) and over the last two years have been reading up on the history and rituals of Modern Witchcraft with a mind to "convert" (for want of a better word) as I find myself drawn to the practise and beliefs far more than any other. All this means that when people feel the need to compare Witchcraft (including Harry Potter) and the celebration of Hallowe'en (note, not Samhain, the actual Wiccan festival) to rapists, murderers and child molesters, I get somewhat irritated.

But enough of that. The ignorant are, well, ignorant and therefore should be ignored. On a good note, with Autumn well and truly in the air bonfire night is also coming upon us. And three of my friends have booked travel to visit me in the new city for the weekend of the 6th, 7th and 8th. This serves to make me feel very loved and appreciated :)

Seven days/one week.

In the last seven days we have organised quotes from removal firms (and all I can say is thank all that's good and holy that we're not paying for this, £1000 to move my furniture from one house to another? Really?) We've even started looking for somewhere to live, and are going to view a gorgeous house tomorrow. We haven't sold our house, but again, we can get help from the local authority who have hired my husband to pay the rent on a new house with for a while, so we're not quite destitute yet. Now we just have to pray that the house is suitable, available and they are happy with us moving into it and we can get the paperwork signed imminently so that we can organise a moving day! We've also organised the leaving party (the most important bit!) and told all our friends we're going, to various reponses (ranging between excitement and joy and tears and tantrums)

I've also decided to knit something real, not just bumblebees, soft toys and scarves. I knitted a pair of (very simple) slippers on Sunday and I'm about a third of the way through a huge hoodie, which means that my wrists ache, my back hurts from leaning over it and my eyes are very much crossed. But it's lovely so far :D This is, in case you can't tell, a very effective method of procrastination from actually packing and being useful. Though, to be fair, I have, so far, singlehandedly packed the wedding china, wine glasses, champagne flutes, mugs, serving dishes, egg cups, vases, wine coolers, ornaments, books and DVDs while my husband cleared the office and dismantled the flatpack furniture. We're left with the old crockery and mugs I've had since I went to boarding school age 16. It's like being a student again, which is, at least, fun :)

Once the house is sorted and we can arrange a moving date we need to start cancelling subscriptions, Sky, internet etc and organising mail redirection since you're supposed to give several weeks notice for that (oops). We've also got mobile phone contracts to change (although at least we both use paper-free billing) and banks to argue with (always fun)

For now though, I'm doing what I always do in times of crisis. I've ordered several books from Amazon, I've arranged a lot of nights out with friends (despite having my purse emptied during dinner on Sunday night, luckily there was only £30 in it, I refuse to be jaded by the city given that this is the first time anything like that has happened in the six years I've lived here) and I'm currently most of the way through a bottle of wine and a good movie.

Welcome to the madhouse!

So, Ophelia was driven insane by grief and eventually killed herself following a possible homemade abortion. While I realise that I sound as if I'm trying to be deep and meaningful with this introduction she is a character I have often sympathised with, born in the wrong place, at the wrong time and falling in love with the wrong man, hence the name of this blog. There is also a tongue in cheek reference to the song Cry Ophelia by Adam Cohen, for while I've never tried to kill myself, by throwing myself in a river or otherwise, I've often had strange thoughts and found myself stifled by people's expectations of me, so I merely sulk, rather than weep.

To counteract all this. and make myself less sulky, I read, I write, I sing in a pub on Wednesday nights (strictly kareoke) and I watch as many fantasy movies as I can fit into my life. I knit, I sew, I do counted thread cross stitch, I drink endless cups of coffee and cans of Diet Coke and I search for a job. I drink wine, bake cakes, make crack brownies and gingerbread (containing absolutely no crack, but addictive all the same) sleep with a stuffed rabbit and watch any other movies people recommend to me. I have the aspiration of becoming an author and we'll see how that pans out. For now I'm living on my very understanding husband's salary while I wait for the economy to pick up enough for me to get a minimum wage retail position in which I intend to use my degree in Applied Psychology on a daily basis.

In contrast to Ophelia, I fell in love with the right man. A man who loves me despite my many faults and who may drive me mad with his inability to sit still of an evening but who will be quiet and attentive when he needs to be. I was not born into a noble family. I was born into a strictly middle class working family, my mother is a nurse, my father an engineer and we were always perfectly comfortable and happy thankyouverymuch, until my mother left my father for my step-father, but more of that another day. I have never had an abortion, imaginary, inferred, homemade or otherwise, but long for a family and cannot wait until that day when I get to wave a blue stick in the air and and scream "It's positive!"

I am 24 years old, I have been married for three years and life is about to change, as it did for Ophelia all those years ago, though hopefully not in such a traumatic manner. I aim to see this change through to the end without stopping by the local psychiatric unit. My husband has just accepted a job in another city, which leaves us three weeks and five days to find somewhere to live, get down a deposit, get quotes for and move all our belongings, and sell our house. Obviously we don't expect to sell the house in three weeks (though if anyone is listening, that would be just lovely!) so we're looking for somewhere to rent for now and hoping someone out there is in a good enough mood to let us move in two weeks time. Of course this change would only come about after several friends from faraway lands have made plans to come and stay with us between now and Christmas, but luckily we have very understanding friends.

So, for now, I waver on the brink of insanity, not yet quoting the uses and myths of flowers, but wondering how on earth we're going to manage this move when the last time we moved it took us three months to get the paperwork signed and released. I think the only option is endless optimism. And lots of wine and ice cream. Yes. I think that might be the key...