When passive aggressive facebook statuses just wont cut it.

I've spent a lot of the last few days biting my tongue. There are some things that need to be kept in, my views on parenting and marriage for example. Those aside, I was told by a very close friend that my sarcasm upset her the other day, so much that she was reduced to tears. This threw me for six as she's known me for (ironically) six years, and I've always been extremely dry. My father often describes my jokes as going down like lead balloons. I think that's an understatement. But most of my friends get on with it and we all shuffle along happily. This one is known for being a bit oversensitive, but as she's the same one as I referred to in my previous post I'm done with oversensitive. She's also being not especially sensitive herself recently but that's all by the by. I was genuininely upset by what was said, so I stopped talking, we were eating and then walking anyway. But then I got asked what was wrong. So I clearly can't win.

A few hours later, after coming home and leaving her and two others in the pub, another friend was here. We were all going to a gig together and were meeting at our house as it's closest to the main roads. They were late. And as we get earache everytime we're more than five minutes late for anything (I wont even go into the drama that occurred around a recent film about a certain wizard and his misadventures) I was getting pissed off. Things got on top of me and I broke down in tears when he asked if I was ok, and let everything spill out. Turns out this friend was a bit more in tune with me and had known I was struggling. Which given how many people have told me how well I'm managing the move and the upheaval was something of a relief. It was nice to not have to comfort someone as they were prepared to comfort me.

Don't get me wrong. He's not the first to see through me, two of my friends know exactly how I'm getting on and are being as supportive as they physically can be. It's just nice to know that someone else sees the real me. Later last night I told the original friend that I'm not coping. She once again brushed over the move and said "It'll all be fine." Well of course it will. It has to be. But that doesn't mean I'm not allowed to panic and stress like all normal people. I'm fed up of being strong for everyone else. I'm also fed up of packing, wrapping, washing, writing and having to say goodbye. Friday night was our last night with the Scouts and while they were getting hyper on cake and fizzy pop I was trying not to cry over the gifts and cards the parents and leaders had organised. We don't do Scouts for gain, we do it to give back to the kids, we do it because we want to, so to be appreciated and to know that we (well, my husband) have made a difference makes everything worth it. And it's easier to be strong for kids, so I didn't mind holding it all in as much, until a leader and a parent came to say goodbye and both had tears in their eyes. We made them go away with more cake and fizzy pop (the tears, not the grownups).

Of course the week has not been without it's good points. The whole reason Friday was upsetting is because they are a great group of kids who we have got to know and who we were made to promise we'd visit. I think there are already plans in the pipeline to find a troop to join in the new place and try to organise joint camps. Scouting is all about friendship and forming links with other groups so this sounds like a perfect excuse to me.

The friends who were visiting with their ten month old son were great to be around. There is something to be said for motherhood mellowing people out. I never really beleived it before! The little boy is just gorgeous and very smiley and nothing quite brightens a day like a smile from a small child. He's also not quite crawling yet either which left me with a little more peace of mind about the boxes and packing materials all over the house. Hopefully next time they visit we'll be in a sensible state of order! I also managed to get a lot of my Christmas shopping done while she was buying most of Mothercare so that's one less thing to worry about :)

I finished my jumper! It's huge and squashy and has a hood big enough to cover my whole head :) I'll take some pictures when I can work out the timer function on my new camera. I decided to finish it off with two glass butterflies on a string to tighten the neck and so far every person who has seen me in it has asked me where I bought it from *proud of herself smiley*

The gig last night was fantastic. The band are always good live and last night was no exception. They're changing direction a bit musically apparently, but it's a good direction so no complaints :) Have to say, I think the best song title ever has just been discovered "A Really Cool Dance Song" 'cos dance songs are cool now *nods* And they played one of my favourite songs, despite it being a slow one, so they get massive credit for that.

Of course I think that the most fun I had all week was buying books and DVDs while my husband meandered around the supermarket. I mean he should really know better than to leave me to my own devices... I came out with five DVDs and two books. Ooops... In my defence one of the books is a Christmas present, and I think one of the DVDs will be too... Maybe...